Five lessons I learned from planning my own wedding
My husband and I recently celebrated our one year anniversary! I loved being a bride, and I especially loved the insight it gave me into the process as a wedding vendor. I feel like I learned so much in the planning process, so I thought today I’d share a few things that really stuck with me after the wedding was over.
**1. Don’t put anything off. **
If you are in the mood to start putting together your guest list, go ahead and do it - even if you don’t have a venue booked yet. If you have an idea for a cute DIY decoration, and a free weekend, go ahead and pull that trigger! People will tell you that you have plenty of time, and it’s true (don’t stress!) but also, there is nothing wrong with being prepared. Some things will take much longer than you anticipated, and it’s good to have plenty of time to work on them.
**2. Order your invitations early. **
How did I learn this lesson, you may ask? Well, because I am insanely picky, it took me for. ev. er. to design my invitations, and I got them out just in the nick of time. It was not my best idea.
You may not need to send them out until 6-8 weeks before the wedding, but (and this goes hand in hand with step 1) there’s nothing to say you can’t order them up to a year in advance. If you have your date set, your guest list written, and your style decided upon, go ahead and get those invitations! There is no worse feeling than hoping the USPS delivers something promptly (because that’s not gonna happen) and it’s not something that needs to be timed perfectly - they can sit in a box in your closet for a month before you pop them in the mail. It’s not like they’ll spoil!
3. Keep your guests at the front of your mind.
This may be controversial, but my opinion is: the ceremony and the honeymoon are for you and your husband - the reception is for your guests. If you keep their comfort and fun in mind when you’re planning, you’ll have a fun wedding. My husband and I wanted to throw our friends and family a really fun party to celebrate with us. For our group, we knew that meant good food, flowing drinks, and lots of dancing. We had long tables with a family style meal because we had large family and friend groups, and didn’t want people to feel separated - we wanted everyone to bond over a meal just like they would at home.We asked our guests on the RSVP card for their favorite songs, so they would for sure want to dance. I really wanted everyone to have a good time, and I think it paid off - as far as I know, people had fun, and at the wedding itself we felt so surrounded by love and joy. There was no stress that day! I think as long as you’re keeping that in mind, and asking those questions when you’re making decisions (will my guests enjoy this? will this keep them waiting? is this enough information that they will be able to get from point a to point b on their own?) you can’t go wrong.
4. Trust the people you choose to work with
Us vendors do this all the time - we love hearing your vision and your ideas, but if you’re micromanaging the people you hired, you might as well do it yourself. I tried to give my vendors a lot of creative control, and they had great ideas that I never would have come up with on my own. Everything was more beautiful than I could have envisioned. Paint a clear picture of your expectations, but be open to their ideas and suggestions, and leave the details up to them.
5. Keep it in perspective
The week leading up to our wedding I was a nervous wreck, because the forecast called for thunderstorms, high winds, and torrential rains. Our wedding was supposed to be completely outdoors, and our rehearsal dinner had an outdoor courtyard we had planned on using. We had a rain plan, but like most brides, I had envisioned perfect weather that day! The morning of the rehearsal dinner, it called for violent thunderstorms in the evening, and it was so humid and windy that you could see clouds of pine pollen lifting from the trees. And then, as if by magic, it cleared up to a mild and beautiful evening, and the day of our wedding was the most perfect, sunny day you could have asked for. Looking back, I’m pretty sure even if the forecast had been right, and it had rained buckets, it still would have been a wonderful, perfect day. There was really no need to worry.
This is just one day in your whole life. It’s going to be a great one, but as long as you’re married at the end of it, everything else is just icing on the cake. Enjoy the process, cut out the things that are causing undue stress, and just remember that when you are surrounded by the people you love most in the world, it’s not going to matter if the flowers are blush, not whisper pink, or if the food is five minutes late coming out - you’ll be too busy being happy to care.
